What do you think of this paragraph? ( 10 points?!)?

"I took part in the Legislative Meeting with delegates and senators of the Commonwealth Of Virginia in Spring 2010. Later that year, in the Fall, I attended the “Student Leadership Conference” as a student ambador. It was also my privilege to be part of the “Gator Task Force”, led by-------------------, the Vice President for Student Affairs. We had successful discussions about improving the learning environment for students. As a Vice President of the International Club, I was active in raising donations for such causes as clean water, feeding the hungry and the combating of HIV in South Africa countries. "