I wanna commit suicide?

I don't know how to help you because you are so needy. If you would just let in on some of your powers that will bring you back to life and no one will treat you that way. The more you allow it the more it will happen so if he is mean to you, walk out on him and if you can't stay away, make sure he knows why you left. If you don't it will seem to him like it is okay.